Wedding, take 2

[Cassidy]

The Wedding is really happening this time!

Sam, please start us off; just so you know, me and Vladimir have written our own vows.

[Julia]

Yaaaaay!

[Joshua]

am i 2 old 2 b d ring berer or is that ok bcause i rlly want to try it but they dnt want me 2.

[Cassidy]

It's not that we don't want you to Joshua, but since Sophi didn't want to be the flowergirl we decided to have the best man also hold the rings so we'd have an even number. You are still welcome to attend

[Vladimir]

I fear the groom's side will be a bit weak. My friend and passionate lover Anton has expressed his desire that this wedding does not happen, and will likely not be in attendance except perhaps to object to the proceedings. With the slaying of my son Kleyton, Hank is the only remaining of the original party still able and (I believe) willing to attend.

[Judge Sam]

Cassidy has asked me as the town's local minister of the peace to start off the proceedings.

We are gathered here today to join two people in unholy matrimony, Cassidy Harmon and Vladmir Palir.

They have written their own vows, let's hear them so we can get straight to the reception and I can get piss drunk! Woo!

[Cassidy]

I, Cassidy Harmon take you Vladimir Palir to be my husband, my partner in crime and my one true bad boy lover. I will cherish our friendship even when you're away in the Big House. I will love you today, tomorrow and til the end of your life sentence. I will laugh at you, cry for you and love you semi-faithfully through the best of appeals and the worse of appeals. I've given you my hand to hold through jailhouse glass and will visit you often. So, help me Judge Judy.

[Vladimir]

I, Vladimir M. Palir, "The Impaler", "Sarah 'Im'Palin", "Vladimir Putin", "Evil Demon Clown", "Cyber Demon Clown", "Prince of the Underworld", "Prince of Darkness", "The bastard child of Evil incarnate and Bozomir the Clown", and "That guy who puts on parties for kids, a completely thankless job, for less than minimum wage" take you, Cassidy Harmon, the "Witch Bitch", "Queen Bitch", "Focal point of the Axis of Evil", "The leader of the Coven of Bitches" to be my wife. To have (15 clown babies), and to hold (wild and uninhibited parties in my non-descript white van) from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer, I can't possibly be any poorer so I will skip that part, in sickness and in immortality, to love and to cherish, to build and to bolster a ginger clown army that will shake the very foundations of this small, rural community, from this day forward, until death do you apart from me whilst I live on forever more having my immortality returned back to me.

[Dylan]

I am honoured to be the groomsman

[Judge Sam]

So touching!


You may now kiss the bride, but don't get any of that white paint around your mouth on her. We have wedding pictures to take, and they have to last for eternity!


I now pronounce you, evil demon clown and witch bitch, husband and wife!


*everybody throws rice*

[Cassidy]

[Vladimir]

*One large Kiss*


And now I can look forward to a life of being !

[Sophi]

/throw grenade rice.

[Cassidy]

/Throws Bouquet

[Chloe]

*catches bouquet*

[Cassidy]

Vladimir and I have decided on the names of our 15 warriorchildren for the clown army:
1.Felicidy
2.Sorindipidy
3.Dick Tracymir
4.Sideviewmir
5.Rearviewmir (they are twins)
6.Izziemir
7.Jimbibbidybobbidyboobidy
8.Kleytonimir
9.Perridy
10.Adramir
11.Hankymir
12.Therockidy
13.Boromir
14.Faramir (twins again!)
15.Cassimir (pronounced Cashmere)
Those that end in mir are boys and those that end in idy are girls.

[Cassidy]

Through the unholy blessing of our marriage, Vladimir and I combine our devilry and witchcraft to grant Chloe Martin immunity from Tuesday's Imprisonment.

[Vladimir]

Help us name our children! There will be 15 of them. The males have their names end in "mir" or "imir" and the females have their names end with "idy". Here is what we have thought of so far.

felicidy
izzimir
jimbobbidy
*dick tracymir
*sorindipidy
*rearviewmir
*sideviewmir
Kleytonimir
*Perridy
Adramir
TheRockidy
Boromir
Faramir
*Casshmir

The * are by names that are guaranteed includes because they involve some sort of a pun, or involve Dick Tracy.

[Cassidy]

And just for the public record: the Prenup

If Vladimir Palir should be Imprisoned/Exiled/Expelled before Cassidy Harmon,
-she receives all secret hideouts besides the one under her house, which goes to Anton
-she receives all unmarked white vans besides the last used by Palir, which goes to Anton
-she receives control over all lower-level demons previously under Palir's command.

If Vladimir should ever cheat on Cassidy, she receives all three of Vladimir's items, and Vladimir will not receive any of her 3.

If Cassidy Harmon should be Imprisoned/Exiled/Expelled before Vladimir Palir,
-he receives his immortality and full demon powers restored to him
-he receives all of Cassidy's spell books
-he receives control over all apprentice bitches in the Coven of Bitches (at time of prenup, this includes: Sophi Dunamis

It has also been agreed upon by both parties that the godfather of any children shall be Anton Gadsby, and that he receives the possessions of both Cassidy and Vladimir if they both are removed from play. This is forfeit if he is found to be a spy, traitor, or any third party.

[Judge Sam]

Feb 15, 2010 20:08:01 GMT -5 Cassidy said:

Through the unholy blessing of our marriage, Vladimir and I combine our devilry and witchcraft to grant Chloe Martin immunity from Tuesday's Imprisonment.

I don't think so!

[Cassidy]

DEMONS AND WITCHES OF THE RECEPTION, ATTACK THE TURNCOAT!!!

[Anton]

*uncontrollable sobbing*

I'll be online later. Maybe.

[Vladimir]

Don't worry Anton. Nothing has changed between us.

[Kathie]

-_-

Vlad and I were suppose to get married and have 15 children and and a reality show.


So now, I'm getting a new cat. And his name is Evil.




Wtg, ya'll.

[Vladimir]

We still will, Kathie. Don't let this ceremony suggest otherwise.

[Cassidy]

trying to break the prenup already Dear?

[Vladimir]

Hmm...the prenup magically changed. Must be witchcraft.

I guess I have to withdraw what I said Kathie. We can...ehem...discuss this later, though.

[Yuri]

NOT SO FAST!!!!!!!

*King Yurinatior bursts into the chapel just in time to call off the happy wedding*

TIME TO KILL VLADIMIR AND THEN MOTHERLAND' HIS WIFE

[Cassidy]

Problem number 1: Wedding finished hours ago and the reception ended too.

Problem number 2: Kleyton chemically castrated you before being imprisoned (or perhaps causing him to be imprisoned) so it is not POSSIBLE for you to motherland anyone. However, Vladimir DID buy a shovel for the sole purpose of motherlanding YOU.

Watch your ass Yuri

[Yuri]

HERE'S THE SHOCKING TWIST, CASSERZ....

Kleyton NEVER castrated me FOR I, MOTHERLANDED HIM BEFORE HE COULD!!!!!!

MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

*is standing outside Vlad's apartment with a shovel*